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From him or from me. A plan, a time, and then finally, relief. The sweetest relief imaginable, before circling right back to shock and repentance.Rinse. Repeat. Though I’m physically charged almost every waking minute, I’m mentally drained. So much so, that it took several visits to Ethan’s before it actually occurred to me that I was cheating on Jess. What Ethan and I do feels so different, so other that I actively didn’t realize that I’m being unfaithful for an embarrassingly long time. When it hits me, I feel terrible. Jess is an amazing woman and I’m the one who pushed to be exclusive with her. She’s a wild girl at heart and I’ve tried to tame her, only to screw around behind her back. Guilt gnaws at me and I’m finding it harder and harder to know how to act around her. I go through phases where I dote on her and initiate constantly, trying to make up for what I’m doing to her, and then phases where I don’t.Should I be sleeping with her when I’m thinking of him? No, probably not,. After slipping the little stopper back into the bottle he realised that the night had become deathly cold. The boy literally couldn’t feel his fingers or his feet and he poked his head out of his ditch to find out that the rest of the dig team had long since left without realising he was still down there. Admittedly he wasn’t the most outgoing guy in the world but surely someone would have noticed he wasn’t with the rest of them? More worryingly what the hell was in that glass that had kept him stood there without any sense of time for five hours? Shaken, he climbed out of the ditch after absently pocketing the vial in his cargo pants. Once he was up at the top he hurried off to the inn they were all staying at to go to bed. Tomorrow he might go see if there was a doctor in town since blackouts weren’t usually a good sign but for now he just wanted to get out of the cold. He gave a silent prayer of thanks when he found the door to the inn was still open and a few stragglers were.
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